TIPS IN POETRY WRITING
By
Melchor F. Cichon
October 2, 2008
Revised: Sept 5, 2010
Revised November 4, 2012
Every poet has his
own way of writing poems.
I have my way.
Generally before I
write a poem, I read. Just anything. But if there is a book of poetry, I pick
that up first and read it.
While reading it,
most often an idea comes in.
Ideas come in like
lightning. If you cannot record it, it will be lost forever.
Or if you can
remember it, good. But memory also slips like lightning.
So what I do is, I
always bring a notebook, and a pen or pencil. Once an idea comes into my mind,
I write it down.
Usually, this idea
becomes the focus of my poem. If more related ideas come in, I continue my
writing until I finish the poem. Otherwise, I just leave it there for future
use.
I write my first
draft as it comes from my heart. But once I revise it, the writing will now
come from my mind. I become the first critic of my work.
And I revise it
without mercy.
How many times do I
revise my work? I do not know. Perhaps once, perhaps two. Or even more.
If I feel that I have
molded it the way I wanted it, then I stop.
How do I know that it
has reached the end of it? When I feel that everything that I hope to put in it
is already there.
How do I revise my
poem?
Is it wordy? If it
is, I trim the adjectives that I believe should not be included in the poem. I
prefer more action words. The shorter the sentence the better.
I check the spelling,
the grammar, and the words and phrases. The whole sentence.
Is there unity? Is
there logic in the arrangement of the stanzas?
Can I be understood?
Are there words that are very difficult to understand? If there are, I change
that to something that is easily understood.
Like Robert Frost, I
prefer to use easy to understand words. Easy they seem to be, but they can evoke
layers of meanings.
Let us take this
poem:
HAM-AT MADUEOM RO
GABII, INAY?
Ni
Melchor F. Cichon
Inay, ham-at madueom ro gabii?
May buean, Toto, ugaling may galipud nga gae-um.
Inay, ham-at madueom ro gabii?
May bombilya ro mga poste't Akelco,
Ugaling may brown-out.
Inay, ham-at madueom ro gabii?
Ginsinindihan ko ro atong kingke,
Ugaling ginapinaeong it hangin.
Inay, ham-at madueom ro gabii?
Toto, matueog ka eon lang
Ay basi hin-aga temprano pa
Magsilak ro adlaw.
Indi, 'Nay ah!
Sindihan ko't uman ro atong kingke.
Here the words are
very simple. But is it really easy? Does it evoke other meanings? Does it dig
your senses, your feelings, your conscience?
If I find that the
word I used is abstract, I try to change it with concrete words—or words that
have pictures. Abstract words are words that confuse the reader. Example, when
we say, he is a well-known person, we do not know whether that person is liked
or disliked. But if we say that person is famous, he or she is liked and
well-known.
Concrete words describe
things that people experience with their senses: red, cold, dog. A person can
see red, feel cold, and hear the bark of a dog. This is related to image.
In using images in
our poems, we use our five senses: smell (fragrance of a sampaguita), taste (the
taste of heaven of durian), touch (soothing touch of mother), feelings (After
you left me, a dull pin has been piercing my heart ), hearing (The sound of
Jawili falls remind me of you).
Abstract words refer
to concepts or feelings, like liberty, happy, love. A person cannot see, touch
or taste any of these things. These abstracts words are common in greetings
cards. That is the reason why poems in these cards do not reach the textbooks, particularly in anthologies. Many of the words
used in greeting cards are clichés. Simply said, generally, texts in greeting
cards have no poetic value.
Example: If I used
flower, I change it to a specific flower like gumamila or sampaguita or rose.
If I use tall, I change it to, say, flagpole so that the reader will have
something to compare with it.
Look at these lines:
Good: She fells happy when she sees me.
Better: She jumps when she sees me.
Good: The palm of his hand is coarse.
Better: The palm of his hand is a cactus.
Here are some words
that poets should avoid using when writing a poem.
Big, happy, tall,
beautiful, great, little.
I also check whether
I used a cliché. If I did, then that line should either be revised or be
deleted outright. If I cannot create a fresh metaphor for that questionable
line, I change the whole sentence.
Cliché is like a rose
that has lost its fragrance and beauty.
A cliché is an
over-used metaphor like: she is like a red, red rose. Here are some common cliches:
Poor as a church mouse,
Strong as an ox,
Cute as a button,
Smart as a fox.
Thin as a toothpick,
White as a ghost,
Fit as a fiddle,
Dumb as a post.
Bold as an eagle,
Neat as a pin,
Proud as a peacock,
Ugly as sin.
When people are talking
You know what they’ll say
As soon as they start to use a cliche.
Here are some cliches
that poet should avoid:
Being in the same boat
Building bridges
Clasping at straws
Cutting the Gordian knot
Earning brownie points
Getting a feather in their cup
Getting down to brass tracks
Missing by a whisker
Missing the bus
Muddying the water
Not having a crystal ball
I also check whether
I used a passive voice. If I did, then I change the sentence into an active
one.
Example:
Passive Voice: Ham-at
Madeuoem ro Gabii was written by Melchor F. Cichon
Active Voice: Melchor
F. Cichon wrote Ham-at Madueom Ro Gabii.
Passive: My first
visit to Miagao will always be remembered by me.
Active: I shall
always remember my first visit to Miagao.
Many poets have been
using poetic devices like assonance, metaphor, simile, irony, and other poetic
devices. These devices really create dimensions, implications, impressions, and
effects on us.
What is assonance?
Assonance is a
repetition of vowel sounds within words like: "The rain in Spain
stays mainly on the plain."
Or
Naghapay ro baeay ni
Inday sa binit it baybay pag-agi ni Moray.
What is metaphor?
A metaphor is a
statement that pretends one thing is really something else:
nipa hut--
my castle atop a hill
a witness to my tears
*****by Edna Laurente Faral
my castle atop a hill
a witness to my tears
*****by Edna Laurente Faral
Your smile is my
sleeping tablet.
What is a simile? It
is a statement where you say one object is similar to another object. It uses
"like" or "as"
"I knew; the
light that lingered in ordinary things
like a spark
sheltered under the skin of our days—
The light was you;
It did not come
from."
*****From "Her
amazement at her only child" by Karol Wojtyla
What is irony? Irony
is the use of words to convey the opposite of their literal meanings. It is
also a literary style employing such contrasts for humorous or rhetorical
effects.
Here is a good
example of irony.
BAKIT SI XELA AY
NAGDIGHAY PAGKATAPOS MAG-INOM NG COKE?
Ni Alex de Juan
Kanila lang
Puno ng pawis ang tansan
na nagyakap sa bibig ng Coke.
Naghalakhak ang tansan
na gin-aywanan ang bibig ng Coke.
Nagtambad ang kalawang
sa ilalim ng bibig ng Coke.
Gin-inom ni Xela ang Coke.
Si Xela ay nagdighay
pagkatapos mag-inom ng Coke
dahil gusto ng tansan na maulit
ang tunog ng kanyang halaklak
sa paglaho
ng kalawang
sa ilalim ng bibig ng Coke.
Another thing which I
check in my poem is the injection of moral lesson. This device has been used in
many of the traditional poems. I was once a judge in Hiligaynon poetry contest,
and I noticed this mistake in many of the entries. So avoid this, let us leave
that giving of moral lesson to the preachers. Our business as a poet is to
present what we see, hear, feel, smell, imagine, and dream of. And if possible,
inject a little opinion and leave the rest to the readers.
As someone has
said: “A
poet's job is to write the haiku, and the informed reader's job is to interpret
it via his or her own cultural memory, education, experience, personal
biosphere, religious beliefs, etc., as each person is different and sees and
interprets poems from their own unique viewpoint.”
Another technique in
creating great poem is by subverting the ordinary: Subverting is turning upside
down. Here is a good example:
crossing a bamboo bridge—
a son holds
his father's arm
*****by Melchor F. Cichon
Other samples of subverting the ordinary:
in front of a doctor’s
clinic--
a withered rose
---Melchor F. Cichon
clinic--
a withered rose
---Melchor F. Cichon
first kiss—
for a moment, the sun
disappears
----Melchor F. Cichon
for a moment, the sun
disappears
----Melchor F. Cichon
Using rhyme and
rhythm is an effective way of conveying our feelings, but we must be very
careful with them. For one, if we will stick to rhyme and rhythm, most of our
ideas will be trimmed because we have to suit our words with them. This is the
main reason why modern poets are now using free verse. This very evident in
luwa.
Pag-agto ko sa Kalibo,
Nakakita ako’t mueto;
Pinitik ko ra ueo,
Eumusot sa kardero.
---Maeara
May handum kunta ako,
Nga mangupya sa sabat mo;
Ugaling umabot ro maestro,
Sinaylo nana ako.
---Maeara
Using words thy,
thyself, and other words common in the 16th century should be avoided, unless
of course you want to be associated with William Shakespeare.
Great poems have
conflicts, just like in a short story. There must be two opposing forces in the
poem.
Let us take this
poem:
Ang Matandang Ito
Rio Alma
Hukot
Dahil mabigat ang liwanag.
Mauban
Dahil pinakupas ng liwanag.
Makulubot
Dahil niluto ng liwanag.
Tahimik
Dahil tigib ang bibig ng liwanag.
Here is another one:
Sa Bangketa
Ni Rio Alma
Kalansing ng barya
Sa basyong lata.
Simula ba ito ng kasaysayan
Hinggil sa walang katapusang pag-asa?
O pangwakas na himala?
Another element of a
great poem is its universality. The more universal the theme and topic of the
poem, the more each individual reader can identify with the poem. You can
express individual hurt (or joy), for example, but the reader must be able to
see it as his or her hurt (or joy) as well."
Let
us take these very short poems:
Old pond
A frog jumps in
A sound of water
—Basho
A LETTER
By Melchor F. Cichon
John,
I will definitely go home
To our house
Where we can see the clouds
Through the roof.
I'm fed up
With the twinkling neon lights,
But I have not yet paid
For the earrings that I got
From Mama San.
I need them so my tinkling
Will be louder and my hips
Will be heavier.
Don't worry, John,
This Christmas
You and I will create a moon
And through the roof
We two alone
Will grasp its light.
Ana
There are some more
tips that I can offer.
Some writers are
afraid to show their works to other people. That is Ok because they say they
write for themselves.
But great poets think
otherwise. They show their works to their fellow poets—for comments.
All great poets have
written hundred or even thousand of bad poems—poems that use cliches, faulty
grammar, etc. But out of these writings, come a great one. And that matters
most. And that makes all the difference.
Here is one poem that
is included in Sansiglong Mahigit ng Makabagong Tula sa Filipinas, edited by
Virgilio S. Almario, 2006.
Owa’t Kaso, Saeamat
Ni Melchor F. Cichon
Owa ako kimo magpangabay
Nga tipigan mo rang maeapad nga handumanan.
Hasayran ko man eagi
Nga ring tagipusuon hay may husto eang nga lugar
Para sa imong mga pagbakho.
Owa ako kimo magpangabay
Nga taguon rang euha agud madumduman.
Hasayran ko man eagi
Nga gusto mo eang magsupsop—
Samtang may ona pa—it duga nga mapuga ko
Sa atong kaeayo.
Owa’t kaso, saeamat,
Paris it pagpasaeamat it eanas sa bulkan
Sa lava nga anang ginabuga.
All
great poets have received rejections slips. I have my share.
Rejection
slips have many reasons. Our works might not be suited to the editorial policy
of the magazine or journals. It could also mean that our works still need
revision.
But
rejection slips should be appreciated—they are energy for us to cross bridges
to write greater poems.
Do
you know that two other publishers had turned down the first manuscript of
Harry Potter. But now every publisher wants to be the publisher of this series.
There
are times when you cannot produce a line for your poem. Do not worry. Ideas
come like seasons: rainy season and dry season. And when rainy season comes,
try as much as possible to capture in paper those bountiful ideas. And when the
dry season comes, just relax. Walk around. Smell the flowers. See a movie.
Listen to your favorite radio stations. Read a novel. Or just lie down. And in
your relaxation, you will be surprised that you have a new line to work on.
The
second to the last tip I can offer is this:
Give
a surprise ending:
Here
are examples from Aklanon luwa:
Sa ibabaw
it lamesa
May tiki
nga tumugpa
Ginpudyot
ni Lola
Pageaum
na maskada.
****
Sa tanan
nga unga ni Nanay
Ako gid
ro pinakamaisog
Pagkueas-kueas
sa dapog
Ako gid
ro hauna manaog.
****
May manok
akong bukay,
Ginbueang
ko sa Ibajay;
Nagdaug
pero patay.
Ginsumsuman
ni Nanay.
****
Sa ibabaw sang lamesa
May tiki nga nagadupa
Ginpudyot ni Lola
Abi niya ya maskada.
****
Sa tanan nga mga unga ni Nanay
Ako gid sa tanan ro pinakamaisogang
Pagkueas-kueas sa dapog
Ako gid ro primerong manaog.
****
May manok akong bukay,
Ginbueang ko sa Ibajay;
Nagdaug pero patay.
Ginsumsuman ni Nanay.
The
last tip is: Revise, revise and revise your work until you are satisfied. And
make it sure that you will not be charged of libel and plagiarism.
Write
in a language that you are familiar with. That way, one half of your problem is
already solved.
Source:
haiku mind:108
Poems to Cultivate Awareness & Open Your Heart
by Patricia Donegan. A Review by Robert D. Wilson. http://simplyhaiku.com/SHv7n4/reviews/Donegan.html. Retrieved: August 31, 2010
by Patricia Donegan. A Review by Robert D. Wilson. http://simplyhaiku.com/SHv7n4/reviews/Donegan.html. Retrieved: August 31, 2010
Yan ang kalangitan natin!
